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Send no flowers... send CHEESE instead!


Here's a controversial article sent in by the Pong Cheese company. It may not be good news for florists, and some will say it stinks! However, it is also said "Blessed are the Cheesemakers", or to be even more controversial, "Cheese is Grate! Cheddar Akbar!". The article is presented here so you can read it and make your own mind up about the philosophical issues raised:

Why do we send each other flowers? We just sort of do it without thinking. If we were honest, wouldn't most of us rather get a lovely box of delicious artisan cheeses such as Stinking Bishop or Epoisses de Bourgogne? Read our feature 'The greatest gift they’ll get this year is cheese' and find out why we think it's much more exciting to find a box of cheese on your doorstep than a bunch of chrysanthemums...

What’s the most exciting gift that can appear on your door step without warning, or that you’re handed by the receptionist on arrival at the office?

No it’s NOT flowers. We believe the best unexpected present you can receive is a box of carefully selected artisan cheese beauties, nestled in straw and begging to be eaten in one sitting. We shall make our case here for cheese over flowers and we remain convinced that within probably only a couple of seconds of careful consideration you will come to the conclusion that you feel the same way.

Flowers have become rooted in our psyches as the first thing we think about when we need to send someone a gift of love, thanks, condolence or apology. The history of giving flowers goes back to prehistoric times when we believed with limited understanding that they had a healing influence, or later in the middle ages each flower had a specific meaning. Well come on, all this is now nonsense; we’re all a lot cleverer these days aren’t we and a great deal more appreciative of edible things over visual things.

Here are eight reasons why we are certain that receiving a nicely symmetrical box of cheese is a far superior experience to being given an awkwardly shaped bouquet that doesn’t even stand up properly:

1. You can’t eat flowers - while there are exceptions its difficult to remember the last time someone said ‘Oh God, this flower tastes amazing!’

2. A cheese gift can last ten times longer - in comparison to flowers? From the minute you receive them they’re on their way out. In many cases, cheese just gets better and better and you can really look forward to the final feast.

3. Cheese can be shared - although this isn’t of course obligatory.

4. Cheese has been made by human hand - years of mastery have gone into the production of an artisan cheese; in the case of a Pont L’Eveque, more than 800 years of craftsmanship.

5. You don’t have to find a vase to put cheeses in - although you will need a board of some sort.

6. Cheese gifts are gender neutral - flowers are loaded with implication and are heavily biased towards women. Receiving cheese is easy and carefree – just open up and get stuck in!

7. Cheese comes with many health benefits - yes it's true flowers are easy on the eye but they don’t restore the body’s minerals and they definitely don’t protect against tooth decay.

8. Giving a box of cheese is original – do you like to be different? Don’t we all? After events such as bereavement, a new baby or retirement you can become inundated with flowers and a different gift such as a box of sumptuous cheeses makes a very welcome change.

So there you have it; the next time you are buying a present, think cheese delivery not flower delivery. If you simply can’t wait why not have a look at our range of cheese gift boxes right away.

Once your order has been shipped don’t forget to turn up about one hour after the delivery has arrived to guarantee a sampling of the goods.

So, if you'd like to get someone a gift and you think cheese is a good idea, the Pong Cheese company is where this article originated. Of course you must realise they are in the cheese business and have a considerable interest in promoting cheeses as gifts, instead of flowers! Florists are welcome to have a different opinion, but they have the advantage of having gift-giving convention and tradition on their side, whereas the Pong Cheese philosophy in cheese gifts is somewhat more radical and unconventional.

I think they have some good points there, and I would suggest that giving cheese to a person who is alive has considerable merits. However, for memorials to the dead, I'd recommend against leaving cheese on someone's grave, as it could attract the wrong type of wildlife!


Note: The expression "Send No Flowers" is traditional as a note at funerals. The idea is that the guests at the funeral should pool the money they would have spent on flowers and have it sent to a charity, typically a charity chosen by the deceased. RNLI is a good choice, as they save lives at sea.