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Flaming Turkey Wings!
Song, from a TV commercial, long ago.

You may remember hints of a song a long time ago, with the line "Flaming Turkey Wings!" in it. It's a reworked version of The Twelve Days of Christmas, but involving the creative reuse of leftover Christmas turkey as meals that take a variety of forms.

Remember, this is a long time ago, so the rather oldfashioned gender roles are typical. The scene is of a man at a table, and his wife is serving up meals which she has creatively made from what was left over after the Xmas Turkey had been through its main purpose as the meal on 25th December. The first line of the song, sung in chorus, goes...

On the First day after Christmas, my truelove served to me... Left-over Turkey!

See, all very festive, and typical as we know that by the time the Xmas tree is just starting to fade a little bit, then after Xmas, the meals are going to be Leftover Turkey. It's just a matter of good sense and good housekeeping. You don't waste food

Then the song continues, with the second line, which goes...

On the Second day after Christmas, my truelove served to me... Turkey Casserole that she made from Left-over Turkey!

Well it's clearly a really yummy turkey casserole, and at any other time of year it would be considered delicious. However, the husband is looking distinctly tired, and with the drooping decorations and faded festive tat in the background, you can see there is a definite "fed up of xmas" feeling in the air.

The song is a reworking of "The Twelve Days of Christmas", which is an oldfashioned Xmas song in which some very odd things happen, but in the original version as the levels escalate, there's a plateau at a mid level where we get "On the Fifth day of Christmas my truelove gave to me... Five Gold Rings". This line is sung with special emphasis. Well, in the "turkey" remix, that line is replaced by...

On the Fifth day after Christmas, my truelove served to me... Flaming Turkey Wings!

Now let's now knock it, this is extremely creative cookery, especially considering the ingredients available... turkey. Also, you can see that the housewife has gone to great lengths to create some prize cuisine despite the limitations.

Now, as well as the creative cookery, there's also the creative song-writing. You may be looking for the "complete lyrics to the song with Flaming Turkey Wings" in it?! **Reconstructive creative memory may have you thinking that the song was performed by some comedy greats, in its entirety. Wouldn't it be nice if you could get all of the lyrics to this famous comedic song?

This is where the mystery is exposed. Although people generally regard the song as being complete, created many years ago, being to the tune of "The Twelve Days of Christmas", and being a spoof version including the most memorable line "Flaming Turkey Wings!", the fact is, rather sadly, that only fragments exist. (If you don't believe this, I suggest that you show me some of the other lines, for example what was served on the 3rd and 4th days after Xmas? And what came after "Flaming Turkey Wings" etc?).

Indeed, many sources trace the song back to an 1970s commercial for Pizza Hut. The overlaid message was in effect "Don't put up with leftover turkey after Xmas, have a delicious Pizza instead! Order it from Pizza Hut!". The lines tempting you into ordering a take-away from Pizza Hut were included inbetween the scenes of turkey dinners after Christmas. This is also why the 3rd and 4th days are missing. You must know by know that we are talking about a commercial break on TV in which Pizza Hut had only 30 seconds to tempt you into ordering a delicious pizza, so they're not going to have been able to put an entire "Twelve Days of Xmas" remake in there, as there wouldn't have been enough airtime.

What's interesting is the psychosociology in which folklore and memory has turned a reference in a TV commercial into a memory of a complete comedy song!

Well let's not be depressed about this. The fact that the original song in the past did not exist doesn't mean it will never exist, and I challenge Pizza Hut to create a full-length version of the "Flaming Turkey Wings" song!* Nowadays, with the Internet, advertising is not limited to 30-second slots on the TV, and if there was a complete "Flaming Turkey Wings" song by the artists of Pizza Hut, it could be good for business in this modern Internet age! You could download it as a podcast, or watch it in a little window on your desktop, or have a little video ringtone type thingy for it on VoIP on your Eeep! Pizza Hut could capitalise on their previous success and create a full reworking of the song, but don't forget, they must include the original lines to be faithful to the original leftover turkey song, and most especially, "Flaming Turkey Wings!".

If you'd like to have a meal with a change, not made from leftover christmas turkey, you can order online from... Pizza Hut

* One of the difficulties of making this into a complete song is the fact that the Twelve Days of Christmas has a kind of rundown of all the previous things mentioned so far in descending order. Having that with the "turkey" version could be done, though.

** A good friend of mine has a distinct memory of a complete "Twelve Days of Christmas" spoof song with "flaming turkey wings" performed by an a-capella quartet on the BBC Pebble Mill at One slot in the festive season one year. If this is true, then maybe Pizza Hut have bought the rights to the song from the original writers, in which case, the full version already exists. However, it is still mystifying that no references are found online to this. If you have any references, please write in and say.

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